The nights are still rather hard – I had to get up almost every hour for something. Maybe it was just to soothe a crying baby, change a diaper, or maybe it was to clean and fill the feeding bag, to turn off the feeding pump, or to administer medications. The day was still full of unpacking and getting organized, setting up tube feedings, dosing out and administering medications, fortifying milk and pumping. I think once I get into a routine it will be easier.
Hana had a pretty good day. She had a lot of smiles! We got our dog Poppy back this afternoon and we were able to walk her to the park. Hana has always loved being outside and I could tell she was enjoying being at the park. The big downer was that she vomited a lot again this evening. She got Paul pretty good. I had to call the on-call doctor at Stanford again. I think this time it may just be that her feeds were just too much volume. She was back to being her normal self within minutes, unlike the night before, so I wasn’t too worried. But I was still somewhat worried. I did, I do want to cry and maybe when there is a little more time I’ll let myself do that. I am wondering if the day will ever come that I can breathe a sigh of relief.
But, it was a good day. When I had Hana in the baby carrier or when I was
holding her I kept thinking how amazing it was to just hold her and enjoy her company. It is so amazing. It’s a good day when you get to hold your baby. Today was definitely a good day!