Tonight, Paul and I were getting ready to leave the hospital to spend an evening at home. The nurse and the cardiology fellow came in the room to check if Hana’s feed had started (I set it up but forgot to start it!). I started shaking because I suspected what might be coming. They had a potential donor heart for Hana but were still evaluating the donor’s antibodies and Hana’s to see if it was a match.
In these situations they likely would not tell us, they don’t want to get our hopes up until they know for sure, but in this case they wanted us to stay and not head home. It was a long 45 minutes. Judy, who was staying with Hana for the night, was there too. Hana kept signing for milk, which she couldn’t have. I kept thinking and wondering and planning and keeping my emotions in check. There was a lot of emotions but we didn’t want to get too excited. One cardiologist told me that there is typically a few “warm up”calls before the one comes in that is a match for the patient.
After 45 minutes or so we talked to the heart transplant fellow and he told us that the donor was not a match for Hana, they declined the offer. Of course, we were a little disappointed but we also know that the right heart will come some days.
Either way, some family facing immense grief has decided to give the gift of life. Some child will get that heart and for all of this I am very grateful. It makes waiting easier, when you have hope!
143 days in the hospital, 124 days post-Berlin Heart, 116 days on the transplant list. To
Hana's Heart 
What a range of emotions you must have felt in those 45 minutes!!!!
Continued thoughts and prayers are with you, Paul and Hana and to the donor family who will one day make that difficult decision.
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