When I have spare moments I try to piece together the sequence of events. I know many people have questions as to how a seemingly healthy baby could so quickly be in the CVICU. My mind also wants to dump information somewhere so that I can start retaining new information.
One piece to dump is the ride to Stanford. I was alarmed when I heard they were transferring Hana via helicopter to Stanford. Maybe it hadn’t dawned on me how serious it really was. I’m starting to get it.
A team from Stanford arrived via helicopter to transport Hana. It took about two hours after their arrival to be ready to transport her. It was hard for me to stay in the room. I felt ready to collapse and I was still reeling. I hadn’t slept in a couple of days. Here are some pictures Lisa took:
It was so hard to see her lying like that. I was fortunate that they allowed me to fly with her to Stanford.
It felt bittersweet to be flying at night in a helicopter over the Bay Area. I felt guilty for enjoying the view, but I also used it as a time to take a break. I did start crying in the helicopter a few times. It was so hard to see Hana in the condition she was in during the transport. I thought I might vomit. The hour after our arrival at Stanford was pretty scary.
This afternoon I took this photo of Hana being sat up by the nurse and my mom.
I hope I can hold her soon.