Today (well, I guess now its technically yesterday) started with 6:30 a.m. vomiting and sheet and mattress pad changing and pulling out of the NG tube. Paul had to leave early for work so I am there trying to change sheets and clean up vomit from the baby and eat breakfast and maybe drink coffee. Hana is fussy early and we waited to put the NG tube back in to give her some time without it stuck down her throat. I try breastfeeding which is rejected. I try giving her the bottle which is rejected. This bottle is the only one that has been sort of working and now the bottle is leaking everywhere because yesterday it fell from the drying rack and cracked and you can only buy it online.
I am frustrated and Hana is crying and then I cry to. We both cry together. Then I lay next to her on the half made bed and pull over a soft, puppy-heart blanket that was so kindly given to us and we fall asleep. I wake an hour later and my friend and neighbor, who is an amazing giver, comes over and I put in Hana’s NG tube and giver her medications and start a new feeding. We are an hour behind and I haven’t pumped yet and I don’t care too much because I just needed a little bit of a break. It’s takes a lot of extra effort to do things when your heart is heavy.
The day got better. The same friend and neighbor was over much of the day and many of the things got done and I was able to get some more done on the mountain of papers that had accumulated on my desk. Late in the afternoon I took Hana to the GI doctor. Mostly we talked. It was the doctor and a nurse and a nutritionist. We talked about the formula Hana is on and why. We talked about why she is getting 1 liter a day of fortified breast milk and why she gets fed when and how much. We talked about Zantac and fluid restrictions and G tubes and why they don’t really want her to get one because she would have to go under anesthesia to have it put in place. We talked a lot about vomiting and the rhyme or reason.
Then Hana got fussy and vomited all over me and the floor. At least they got to see first hand what was going on. He seemed to think the NG tube was the culprit. At the end of the appointment, I left only knowing that her Zantac is being increased and that a lot of people care and will work with the Stanford team to figure out what changes they can possibly make. I also decided that I need to start including a change of clothes for me in the diaper bag. Tomorrow will be better. We see the feeding specialist again.
We got everything done by 8pm and got to relax! Its the first time we were done before 10pm. It must be a sign that tomorrow will be better.
4 thoughts on “GI Doctor”
Reading this I remember how frustrating and dead tired we were the first year or so after our twins were born. Like, all the time – but especially the time when one was hospitalized while trying to make it work at home. I know it is not comparable, but I wish we were a bit closer so we could give a quick helping hand when time allows. Hang in there…
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It’s amazing how much how to be done in a day. Thank goodness you are so capable. I wish you had another full time person that could help relieve you, but so glad you have a good neighbor.
Sending you love……..
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I feel so frustrated for you! Like hfrifedlt mentioned, that first year is SO hard under regular circumstances… you have an extra emotionally, and physically draining hardship. It is what it is, one day, one hour, one minute, one elusive bottle at a time. I know you are not missing those precious moments of bliss and milestone achievments she IS reaching! Relish them…. I know the days seem long. But, when a year, two, five, ten passes, they will be a blur. In the long run the bliss outweighs hard stuff! ❤️✌️🙏
Tomorrow will be better. So thankful for your neighbor that is there to help. You are doing great, day by day. I was questioning the G tube as well… I guess the anesthesia point makes sense. Here is a thought about the sheets… Could you put on a sheet and then a vinyl pad and Layer them so you would just have to pull off a layer and the mattress is already made underneath? Guess it would depend how tight the fit is. Just a thought. Love u all.
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