On Our Own

My mother left around 6am this morning. We are so grateful for all her help. I don’t know what we would have done without her. Some time after Hana’s 6am feeding and when I finally got up around 8am, she vomited in bed. I found a big wet spot later. But despite that we did okay today. I got to take a bit of a nap. It was really, really warm in San Francisco and we took some time to sit outside a coffee shop and talk. In the evening we did a lot of the daily chores my mom had been doing. Even with the two of us, it took quite a while. I think Paul especially was surprised how long it all took, since he had been working while most of that kind of stuff was being done. Today, I was feeling a little depressed about everything. I’m so grateful for all the help and support, but the whole situation is still daunting and, in some ways, we feel a bit trapped or tied down. It is kind of a big deal to go anywhere. It’s hard enough to get time to do things when you have a baby, but now, I feel like our radius from the house that we can travel is much, much smaller. I am determined not to let this get the best of me. I just don’t have the time or energy to be depressed right now. Do I get a choice?